Our self-talk can have a huge impact on the kind of life we live. And from what I have experienced and observed, most of these inner conversations are not positive. For some reason it seems the average person defaults to a negative mindset when they talk to themselves.

What percentage of the time do you walk around throughout the day with thoughts like “Wow I did such an excellent job on that presentation” or “I can’t believe how good I look in these jeans” or “I don’t deserve it”?

Be honest. The conversation probably goes a little more like this: “Why did I open my big, fat mouth in that meeting?” or “I can’t believe I ate that whole bag of chips. My butt looks huge!”

We all do it. The problem is we do it a little too much. The bigger problem is we do it on autopilot most of the time.

So how do we break the poor-old-me cycle?

The S-word. That’s right, service.

One of my favorite sources of inspiration is author-coach Steve Chandler. Regarding service, he says:

All of us have had those moments. I know I have. But the point I try to remember is that those moments do not serve me on the road to success. They stop me.

There’s a way out of those moments  Because those doubtful moments can’t happen unless I’m focused on myself unless I am starting to obsess about me, my fears, my heartaches, my welfare and my own survival.

The cure is to turn that around right up there in the mind. Turn the whole focus around. Turn the spotlight around! Get it off of me!

Instead, I want to focus on the end user of my service. It’s a surefire way out of self-doubt. It’s a way out of fear to focus on the end user.

Think about the person out there in life who is longing to receive your service; someone who would really benefit from your ebook, or from your counseling or your product. Someone who would really benefit if you communicated with them and gave them what you had. Keep your focus on them because that will get you back into action. That will have you less self-conscious about how you are coming across. Now you’re trying to help. You want to contribute to their lives.

When you have something that would really help someone, you don’t care how you say it. Or how you’re coming across, you just want them to know about it. Shift the mind out to other people. Shift it off your self-conscious self.

Take the spotlight off yourself. Shine it on someone else and the negative chatter in your mind will quiet down.

The modest man never talks to himself because he’s too busy serving others.

Get into a habit of service and you just may never hear those voices again.

To your good fortune!